Lily
by iluvmarauders
Summary: What was Lily Evans' life like at Hogwarts? Although most people think she lived a perfect fairytale-like life, fell in love with James and then got married, she was human too. Friendship, love, and success doesn't come as easily as people think...
1. The Beginning

A/N: Just wondering if this thing will work out…read and review.

Disclaimer: Anything you recognise belongs to JK Rowling. 

Lying on the bed at night, staring at the dark ceiling, I came to realise how much I actually missed my family...of course, with the exception of Petunia...I mean who would miss her? She had to be the meanest sister on earth! Just because she was three years older than me, she had to bully me into doing chores for her! What a perfect life...

            I was homesick...no doubt about it. I wasn't earlier...I was too excited. I mean, not everyone got the chance to study at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry! Yup, I was a witch. I could still remember Petunia's face when she read the contents of the letter! Ha! She nearly fainted! From that minute onwards, she did not speak to me again.

            Anyway, after that, mum and dad brought me shopping in Diagon Alley. I got a 10¼ inches long, swishy, made of willow and good for charm work wand. We bought a cauldron, work robes, a cloak and other things mentioned on the letter. My dad even bought me an owl! I called it Rooster because somehow, it reminded me oddly of a chicken...don't ask how.

            Well, when the 1st of September finally arrived, we made our way to King's Cross Station. Then, there was trouble...Platform 9¾? What on earth…? Anyway, I was lucky. There was a friendly girl called Molly who happened to be the Head Girl. She told me to walk through the barrier. However weird it was, I trusted her and did it and found myself facing a red steam engine and a platform full of students shouting and walking. I, being thin and not so tall, slipped past the crowd, dragging my trunk behind me and tried to find a compartment. 

            Since everywhere else was full, I took the last compartment. There were already a few girls in it.

            "Hello, I'm Lily. Can I sit here?" I asked.

            "Yeah sure! I'm Zoe by the way," a petite blond girl rose and helped me pack my trunk away.

            "May. I'm Zoe's neighbour," a slightly plump girl said.

            "Nicky," a tall long faced girl said quietly.

            We were just settling down when the door slid open and a nasty looking boy stepped in with another boy with a lopsided grin. The first boy scowled at everyone before sitting down conveniently beside me. 

            "Um, I'm Lily," I said uncertainly. The boy beside me stared into my green eyes and screwed up his face.

            "Lily…what kind of a name is that?" he growled while nudging his friend. 

            The other boy smiled fixedly and then, said, "I'm Kenneth Burnham and this is Severus Snape." 

            We all kept quiet for a while. I could sense that the boys' presence was making it difficult for the four of us girls to make conversation. Conveniently, Severus stood up and said, "Well, I think I should go somewhere else less…lowdown." He beckoned Kenneth and they both went out. I could cry in relief. Severus smelt of oil and paint. (I hated the smell of paint)

            "Lowdown?" Zoe wrinkled up her forehead.

            I shrugged. "Maybe he doesn't like girls," I suggested.

            "Doesn't everybody?" came a voice from the door. A grinning boy with mischievous twinkling eyes peeked in and poked his tongue out at us. "Sorry to disturb you pretty *ahem* ladies, but have you by any chance seen a handsome young man 'bout as tall as me with messy black hair and weird round glasses?"

            Zoe scowled at him and said, "The only handsome *ahem* young men we have seen are two obnoxious boys who stink! Severus and Kenneth or something."

            "Ah, I've been looking for them too!" the boy grinned harder and brought out a small glass ball.

            Zoe snorted while May snickered.

            "Huh?" I asked. Being Muggle-Born is difficult you know. 

            "Dungbomb! When they hit the ground, they explode and the room will be filled with the _wondrous _smell of dung! Ah…" the boy answered and sniffed as if smelling the _wondrous_ smell of dung…

            I felt sick. 

            "Well anyway, I have some young men to hunt down," he smirked. "See you soon, my fair ladies," he bowed down as low as he could and backed out. 

            We stared at each other and then, burst into laughter. Just then, there was a squeal and a cackle of laughter. Suddenly there was a _wondrous_ smell of dung…

            Soon after, we bought sweets, some quite new to me. Ew…I ate a vomit-flavoured bean! It was disgusting!

            Well, we soon arrived and we were out into a boat that sped off towards the castle. 

            "Err…anybody know what we're going to do when we reach there?" I asked curiously. 

            "We'll be sorted into houses of course!" Zoe answered confidently. "I know, my brother, Louis, told me. He's a Gryffindor third-year."

            "Gryffindor?" I felt stupid.

            "Oh, it's one of the four houses at Hogwarts. Your house is kind of like your family," Nicky explained patiently.

            "What are the houses?" I asked.

            "Um…Gryffindor…it's for the brave people and it's basically the best…" May explained.

            "Well, Ravenclaw is not too bad you know…it's for the smart people. My mum was one," Nicky said.

            "Hufflepuff is for the fluffy people…" Zoe added thoughtfully.

            "But lo behold if thou is in Slytherin…for the evil and power-hungry people…" May said darkly.

            "How exactly are we sorted…?" I asked.

            Before they had time to answer however, the boat halted and we all got out. I could feel a distant stomachache coming my way. What if we had to perform magic or something? 

            The castle door opened and a young woman with her hair tightly strapped behind her head in a bun led us in. The castle corridor was dimly lit with ancient torches. There was a musty smell of old dust and paraffin oil. Suddenly, a flick of ghosts came out of the wall in front of us, talking excitedly. They went through the other wall. There were ghosts at Hogwarts!

            We were led into a gigantic room called the Great Hall. The ceiling was actually a portrait of the real sky outside! Amazing…

            And then, a hat began to sing. I nearly fainted in shock.

            "All right, put the Sorting Hat (so, that's what it was!) on when your name is called," the young witch explained. She unrolled a piece of parchment and called out…

            "Anderson, Amy."

            A brown-haired girl went onto the stage and put on the hat. A few minutes later, the hat called out, "RAVENCLAW!"

            Well, let's skip a few.

            "Black, Sirius."

            The bouncy and grinning boy from the train hopped up and stuffed the hat on.

            "GRYFFINDOR!"

            There was a lot of cheering and whistling. Sirius bowed to everyone and went down.

            "Burnham, Kenneth."

            "SLYTHERIN!" No surprise.

            After a while it was, "Edison, Nicky."

            "RAVENCLAW!" I was hoping she would be in Gryffindor. Too bad…

            "Evans, Lily." I jumped in surprise. Shakily, I put on the hat. It began to talk to me!

            _So…very loyal…brave…smart…well, I guess there's not much choice is there?_ GRYFFINDOR!

            I felt dazed as I walked over to the Gryffindor table. Sirius Black, thumped me on the back and whistled loudly. Another girl, Ashley Athens, introduced herself as another first-year Gryffindor.

            Meanwhile…

            "Lupin, Remus."

            "GRYFFINDOR!"

            After a few minutes, it was…

            "Snape, Severus."

            "SLYTHERIN!" Aha…I knew it…

            "Tehran, May."

            "GRYFFINDOR!" Yay!

            I cheered May as she joined me at the table. She was grinning like a Cheshire cat. I introduced Ashley to her.

            Suddenly, "Walter, Zoe."

            I crossed my fingers.

            "GRYFFINDOR!" Alright!

            Well, after that, we ate and ate and ate. Suddenly, the boy across me burped loudly. He opened his mouth to say something and belched again. He glared at Sirius beside him who was laughing like a hyena until he fell off his seat.

            "Okay, okay, Remus!" Sirius laughed as the belching boy got up to punch him. (Oh, Remus was his name)

            Zoe leaned towards me and whispered, "Belching powder. Pretty cool huh? Watch this." She emptied the contents of a satchel into Sirius' goblet and smirked.

            Sirius leapt up and sat down again. He picked up the goblet and drank from it, much to the amusement of Zoe and me. Suddenly, a loud belch echoed through the hall. Sirius shut his mouth hurriedly and glared at Remus. Remus shrugged and denied any action. Another boy on the other side of Sirius with messy black hair and brown eyes began laughing. Sirius turned to glare at him.

            "Someone's got you now, m'dear Sirius!" the boy grinned at Sirius. Sirius scowled causing the boy to quickly add, "But it wasn't me!" Then, he grinned again and added, "Hope it wasn't the girls!" Sirius glanced at Zoe and me. It was amazing how Zoe could look so innocent.

            "How humiliating!" The messy-haired boy shook his head in mock-pity. I could almost cry in laughter when I saw the look on Sirius' face. Zoe snorted into her pudding and chuckled softly. 

            The boys had a good laugh before the messy-haired boy flicked out his wand and performed an anti-belch charm.

            As soon as he was *free*, Sirius growled remarkably like a dog and shook his fist at Remus and the other boy.

            "James…" he addressed the messy-haired boy warningly.

            "I didn't do anything!" Sirius didn't seem to buy that story. In despair, James shouted out, "It was her!" He pointed at Zoe. Zoe spit out some pudding onto her plate and muttered something about going to the toilet before dashing out of the hall. I laughed loudly. Sirius screwed up his face and plopped down onto his seat…defeated. 

            Well, I guess that was all I could remember as I lay down on my head staring at the ceiling after dinner. I had begun counting the number of holes in the ceiling when I drifted off, dreaming of mischievous boys and belching powder. 

            The next morning, I woke up to find a pair of blue twinkling eyes staring at me at about a metre from my face. I yelped in shock and leapt up immediately, pushing off whomever who was on my bed onto the floor.

            Ashley stirred lazily and asked, "Someone attacking you, Lily?"

            I gave a hollow laugh and glanced down at the person on the floor beside me who was laughing and chuckling loudly. It was Zoe.

            I gave her a friendly kick before getting out of bed, yawning loudly. May was already combing her hair. Ashley promptly fell asleep again while Zoe was still on the ground, chuckling and snorting to herself.

            I washed my face and changed into my robes. Zoe had finally risen, red-faced and a huge grin plastered on her face. When she saw me looking at her, she doubled up in laughter and fell down again. I shook my head. May had begun the impossible task of waking Ashley who slept like a hog.

            A few moments later, Ashley was finally up. She rubbed her eyes sleepily and aimed a punch at May for waking her up. It was fortunate that she was sleepy. She missed and fell off her bed, therefore waking up thoroughly. Zoe promptly fell to the ground again in laughter. I laughed too. 

            Without bothering to wait for Ashley to complete the tasks of washing and changing, I went out, dragging a chuckling Zoe behind me. May chose to stay to make sure Ashley didn't swallow her toothpaste or something. 


	2. Getting To Know You

A/N: Thanks reviewers for all your support and so on. This chapter has been altered a little, thanks to a remark made by a reviewer. I'm grateful, really. Anyway, I hope this is less clichéd or whatever so read and review. 

Disclaimer: Anything you recognise from the Harry Potter books belongs to JK Rowling.

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            First days are always tiring. Especially for me as I had never seen magic being done before and do not know what to expect. I always thought we just had to wave a wand and make up rhymes. It turns out to be harder than I had expected. 

            At 9.00 a.m., Gryffindor first-years had Charms. So, off I trotted with Zoe, May and Ashley after breakfast, in search of the Charms classroom. We ended up in the dungeons somehow. By then, we were about to give up. Fortunately, a friendly lady in a portrait guided us to class. We were fifteen minutes late. Thank goodness the professor (Flitwick, I think his name was) was understanding. We didn't get detentions! 

After the Charms class was over, I decided that I liked it. I was told that my wand was good for charm work. It turned out to be true. I was the first person to be able to levitate the feather. Zoe seemed disgruntled but she got over it as soon as she managed to make her feather hover. 

After Charms, we had Transfiguration. That was the all-out definition of difficult. Professor McGonagall was strict and gave us lots of notes but no matter how she explained it, I wasn't able to turn the pin into a needle!  In the end, only three people managed it, James Potter (a messy-haired boy), Remus Lupin (the belching boy!) and amazingly, Zoe! It was my turn to be disgruntled. I only managed to lengthen the pin and make a tiny hole appear at one end. _Sigh…_

Herbology in the Greenhouses at 11.00 a.m. was not fun. It was hot and stuffy enough with only us in it, but as luck would have it, we had the class with Hufflepuffs. Professor Plantherb, a middle-aged woman with graying hair, spent the whole hour explaining the syllabus to us. I decided to study the Hufflepuffs instead of paying attention. I mean, people were falling asleep! How could I concentrate? 

There was a wispy-haired girl with adorable eyes called Elaine. She looked positively bored and she was having fun doodling on her notepad. She was quite a talented artist I could see. 

Beside her sat three girls who it appears are best friends already. One of them was short like me with short curly hair but was remarkably tan. She hardly spoke but just listened to her friends chatter quietly. I couldn't catch her name but I know her friends were called Kelly and Natalie. 

The boys were much less interesting to watch. Two of them kept snickering silently and pretending to pay attention. The other two were actually _paying attention! They were scribbling notes and occasionally, discussed the lesson in mutters. I was shocked._

Finally, the clock struck twelve and we packed up our books as fast as we could and rushed into the castle where it was much, _much cooler. Oh, if I thought Herbology was bad, History of Magic was fatal. _

Professor Binns just droned on and on monotonously, I could _die of boredom. And I'm sure my fellow Gryffindors and Ravenclaws felt the same. If I wasn't watching the clock, willing the time to fly by faster, I was watching the Ravenclaws. _

There was Nicky and her new friend, Rachelle, who was an outspoken girl with not much hygiene but she totally worshipped Nicky. Not that Nicky enjoyed that. The other girls were Amy and Sarah. They were busy sending notes to each other. 

The Ravenclaw boys were all one big group of friends except for a plump (very plump, actually) boy called Benjamin who was industriously taking notes. I had a feeling he, Jason and Daniel would be very good friends. 

The group of boys consisted of Joey, Renji and Gary. They were an outspoken bunch and they livened up the class with their sarcastic remarks and jokes. Looked like James and his gang were too bored and sleepy to rival them.  

As soon as I was about to lose my sanity, the lesson ended and everyone rushed out in relief. It was lunchtime. And I was very glad of it too. I was starving! 

After that, we had Defense Against The Dark Arts, which turned out to be quite interesting. Professor Swordsman was an animated young lady with great ideas and she had the best sense of humour too. I guess I could safely say that my two favourite subjects were Charms and Defense Against The Dark Arts.

Just after an hour of fun, we had Potions. It was terrifying. Professor Cauldron, an aging man, was absolutely strict but what made matters worse was that he was the Head of Slytherin. That meant that he hated us Gryffindors. I shudder every time I think of his class. If your concoction was not the right shade of colour, he was all over you. I got lectured several times in that torturous hour. 

By the time 4.00 p.m. arrived, Ashley was seething with anger and muttering swear words under her breath. May was bright red with embarrassment, and Zoe's hands were trembling and she was trying very hard not to cry. I was shivering with fear and my heart was pounding very hard for fear that my potion did not turn green as it was supposed to. It didn't by the way. So that was 10 points off Gryffindor. Urgh!

I collapsed on my bed in exhaustion, half hearing Ashley swear and curse. I was never so tired in my life. The rest of the week flew by and then a month. I decided that I liked flying after all and was looking forward to Quidditch season. I had never seen it played and according to Zoe, it was a wonderful sport full of action and fast moves. I could hardly wait. 

When the day finally arrived, I could hardly sit still in excitement. The first match was Gryffindor versus Hufflepuff. I was clutching my seat the whole game. Gryffindor Catchers and Keeper were very good but so was the Hufflepuff Seeker. In the end, Gryffindor won, thanks to a Bludger that stopped the Hufflepuff Seeker and the Snitch flew into the Gryffindor Seeker's hand. Everyone cheered except the Slytherins. Surprised? No. 

I quickly turned into an avid fan of Quidditch and researched all the World Cup teams. Zoe called me crazy and said that Quidditch wasn't _that interesting. So says the person who practically grew up with Quidditch. _

Pretty soon, it was Christmas. I was to go home. Zoe decided to stay at Hogwarts because her brother was and her younger sister at home was annoying. May was going home too because she needed to help take care of her many brothers and sisters. Ashley was going to spend her holidays with Nicky. Apparently, they used to go to the same school before Hogwarts and they were best friends. Zoe was a bit apprehensive about staying in Hogwarts without her friends, but she went on with her plan anyhow and said that she would get to know the other students better.

It was with a heavy heart that I departed for the Hogsmeade Station and onto the Hogwarts Express. Although I was keen on seeing my family again, I know Petunia would just ignore me and that would spoil everything. 

When at last, the train halted, it was almost dark. I was tired and hungry, and my stomach growled impatiently as I slipped through the barrier and started looking for my parents. 

I skimmed over the crowd, squinting to make out the people at the back. With each passing minute, I felt more nervous. I gulped several times and looked harder. But there was no sign of them, red hair or long neck. Where were they?

I pushed my trolley down the platform, my ears reddening when the people turned around to stare at me. 'Poor lost girl,' each one thought, but none made any move to help me. I kept biting my lower lip and my hands were trembling. 

I reached the end of the platform and still no sign of them. I blinked furiously, trying to keep the tears from flowing. I _did tell them, didn't I? Yes, I owled them. Maybe something happened and they couldn't come, family emergency or something, like my grandmother was sick. Or something. Or maybe they were just stuck in a traffic jam! That must be it!_

I lingered for a while before finally approaching a young, friendly looking porter. I asked him for help, stammering nervously. He smiled at me and took me to the manager's office. There, he called up my family, and assured me that my mother was on her way. I thanked him gratefully and sat down to wait.  

At last, after half an hour, my mother arrived, her hair disheveled from the wind. I hurriedly gathered up my things and followed her to the car. 

We drove home in silence. At least, it was silent until I blurted out, "Why are you so late?"

She turned to glance at me and swallowed nervously. She looked away.

"Well, we have guests, dear. Your grand-aunt and family decided to visit today…and…well, we were entertaining them," she said, not looking at me.

"So…you forgot all about me," I said softly.

"That's rubbish! We were just…busy," she said, still staring ahead.

"Didn't anyone realise that I wasn't there? Didn't Aunt Gretchen realise?" I whined. 

"We were busy, Lily," she finally turned and looked at me. This time, I looked away. 

I knew it was stupid to keep thinking about it, but I couldn't help it. '_They just don't care.' The thought kept slipping across my mind. It was stupid. It was dumb. But somehow, I felt betrayed. _

A/N: It happened to me once! Call it fluffy if you like, but if your parents just forgot about you and you were all alone and embarrassed, you wouldn't forget it in a hurry. Please review! =)


	3. Christmas

A/N: I'm reposting this chapter because I thought that it was originally too short for my liking. Review please! 

Disclaimer: All characters from the Harry Potter books belong to JK Rowling. 

            I was glad to be home. Even if Petunia scowled at me every time we bump into each other. Even if Aunt Gretchen didn't remember me at all. Even if all the neighbours gossiped about me behind my back, thanks to Petunia. Even if Mum was so busy juggling between household chores and her job that she hardly spoke to me at all besides a harried 'Good morning' before rushing off to her office. Even if Dad was always away at work and was only home about two days a week. (And even so, he came back only in the wee hours of the morning and collapsed onto the couch in deep slumber) 

            On second thought, maybe I should have stayed at Hogwarts instead.

            It was Christmas morning. I woke up a bit too late with the usual sour taste in my mouth, dry throat and untidy hair. So began the most celebrated holiday of the year…in a silent home, all alone.

            After washing myself, I went downstairs, wishing for Christmas presents under the tree, a nice surprise breakfast Mum had prepared for me, Dad chortling over some Christmas comedy while Petunia goggled at her presents. Just like last year. 

            But there was no Christmas tree. Mum had left for work, leaving a note asking me to prepare my own breakfast. Dad had left again, after last night. Petunia had slept over at her friend's house last night, planning to celebrate Christmas there. No presents. No Christmas. 

            I sighed and started to make myself a sandwich. I could hear the neighbour's children giggling in delight, as they ripped open package after package of dolls and books. Over at the other house, the radio was on and Jingle Bells was playing. 

            For the rest of the day, I just spaced out in front of the television. Even the cartoons seemed stale to me. I had a storybook on the couch beside me if I ever felt like reading. But even if I tried, the words became blurs and blotches of black, and my head began to spin. 

            It was almost dinnertime, and no one was home yet, not even Petunia. And I had a feeling no one would be coming back anytime soon. I was just about to get off my warm spot on the couch and make myself dinner, when an owl swooped in through an open window and dropped a parcel on my lap. I opened it curiously and read the note:

Hi Lil! Zoe here! Merry Christmas and I hope you like your present! I know you haven't given me one (haha…thought I wouldn't find out, eh?) but no hard feelings…we'll settle it later when you come back! Merry Christmas again! Miss ya!  

            I smiled a little as I unwrapped the small gift. It was a book entitled 'Quidditch, Teams and Tournaments'. My smile widened as I flipped the pages. The book was beautiful! There were big moving photos of Quidditch teams and articles about them. Later on, there were photos taken during World Cups and other major tournaments. 

            I felt guilty for not getting Zoe a present. I had no idea she would give me one! I had never gone Christmas shopping in my life. I had only received presents, never gave any. I had always taken everything for granted and now that there was nothing, I felt angry and frustrated. 

            Just then, the door burst open. I jumped up in shock. Mum came in, worry written all over her face. She grabbed my hand, pulled me outside and shoved me into the car. I buckled my seatbelt impulsively, and stared at her. Without a glance at me, she stamped her foot on the acceleration pedal and the car zoomed forward. 

            "Dad's ill," she said, her eyes not leaving the road. "He's at the hospital now."

            "Wha-…is he alright?" I asked anxiously.

            "Of course not! He's in a hospital for God's sake!" she snapped. 

            I flinched a little. It was quiet after that. 

            We zoomed into the car park and rushed into the big white building. We wove in and out of the nurses and patients on wheelchairs. I had to practically jog to keep up with Mum. My stomach was growling and my legs were aching but I tried to ignore them. The alcohol smell of the hospital was getting on my nerves. 

            When we finally arrived at a room, I sank against the wall in exhaustion as Mum knocked crisply on the door. Petunia swung it open and we entered. I just stood there and stared.

Dad was on a white hospital bed, a blue blanket covering him up to his neck. His face was lined with exhaustion and was a shade of sick yellow. I stared at the wires connecting him to various beeping machines and the drip. There was a board above his head with his name written on it. Faintly, I could also make out the words 'Dr. Barton' and 'leukaemia'.

            "Lily…" a hoarse voice jolted me from my reverie. I licked my lips and slowly walked towards Dad. He was smiling weakly, his lower lip quivering. He held out his trembling palm to me and beckoned me.

            "Dad…" I collapsed at his side, and grabbed his hand. It was cold, deadly cold. "You'll be fine, you have to be!" 

            "I am, don't worry," he grinned half-heartedly at me. "I'll be fine. I-I-I still haven't…given you your…present." 

            I smiled weakly back at him. His eyes fluttered shut and his hand slipped from my grasp. I was relieved to hear him snore quietly.

            After that, a nurse came in and shooed us out, telling us that he needed some rest. Mum wouldn't leave Dad, and that meant that Petunia and I were stranded there too. 

            We both sat together on a bench facing a window. Snowflakes were falling gently to the ground and the fir trees almost looked alive under the silver moonlight. We were both silent for a while. Petunia, for once, wasn't complaining about sitting next to a freak.

            I suddenly remembered reading 'leukaemia' on the board above Dad's head. Absent-mindedly, I wondered aloud, "What's leukaemia?"

            Petunia stared at me and said slowly, "Some kind of cancer I think."

            "C-c-cancer?" I stood up in shock. Those days, there were few cures for cancer and even so, not all the patients came out alive. 

            Petunia nodded and whispered harshly, "Sit down, before you do anything rash." 

            I pointedly ignored her and turned to face the window. I pressed my palms against the cool glass and gazed at a tiny snowflake that had landed on the window. 

            "Merry Christmas," I muttered bitterly to myself. 

The rest of the holiday passed by in a blur of sitting at home doing nothing, cooking rushed dinners for Mum before she rushed off to the hospital, arguing with Petunia and of course, visiting Dad. 

            He was trying very hard to get well quickly but with each passing day, his face grew a shade paler, and his eyes were losing their emerald green colour and were slowly fading into a dull sea green. It pained me to see him trying so hard to pretend that he was fine, so that we would not be worried. Yet, every line of his face and his weary smile spoke of suffering and exhaustion. 

            Mum wouldn't tell me anything about Dad's illness. She thought I was too young to know. Petunia, who was very well informed, just scoffed at me whenever I asked her. 

            "None of your business," she would say haughtily, her sharp nose high in the air.

            When the time came for me to leave for Hogwarts, I was almost reluctant to go, unlike the beginning of the holidays. Sure I missed my friends but I would miss my family even more, especially when Dad was sick. 

            I had decided to get Zoe a Muggle present, because she had always been fascinated by our gadgets and gizmos. However, I couldn't well get her a radio or something so I decided to get her a book instead. I got her an encyclopaedia on 'How Things Work'. 

            I was right. She was really happy and had slunk off immediately, flipping through the pages in admiration and gasping in delight at the diagrams. I didn't see her for a whole day after that. I heard from May that she was up in the dorm, reading the book in fascination. 

            As for me, I just wandered around the library, seizing the books that seemed interesting ('Danger: Creatures!', 'Merlin: The Real Story') and skimmed through the book, reading the highlighted passages and sniggering at the moving pictures. 

            I had come to the farthest corner of the library when I heard soft chuckling and wheezy laughter. I glanced round the shelf curiously. I should have guessed. James and Sirius were leaning against the wall, James clutching a thick book to his chest, gasping for breath as he struggled not to laugh out loud, while Sirius was doubled up in silent laughter. 

            I suddenly noticed another boy, a short one, curiously staring up at them, his beady eyes showing absolute confusion. I remembered him. He was Peter Pettigrew, forever in trouble because he always forgot his textbooks or his homework. He also happened to be a constant victim of Snape's bullying. 

            James and Sirius were always standing up for him, even though they too had their share of teasing him. Lately, Peter had taken to following them around like a puppy dog. James and Sirius usually ignored him unless Snape began to terrorise him.

            "Did you see…Snape's…?" Sirius tried to say between his gasps of laughter. 

            James was overcome with a fresh wave of laughter. A wide grin appeared on Peter's face.

            "He was starting…to grow…antlers…" Sirius continued, shaking with laughter. "I…swear!" 

            Suddenly, James caught me staring at them. He gave a small smile and nudged Sirius. As soon as he saw me, he stopped laughing instantaneously. They quickly slunk off, without so much as a backwards glance at me, Peter tailing them.  

            I was left wondering if I had suddenly grown horns or something. 

A/N: James and Sirius were shy! All pre-teens don't mix with the opposite gender when they are 11…12 years old! It's true! *Author bounces up and down excitedly. * Anyway, review!! By the way, I know the first part is clichéd; you don't have to tell me. But I _live_ for these cliché thingies! =) Flames are highly discouraged, unless there is a very good reason to do so. =) 


	4. Back At Hogwarts

A/N: I've suddenly realised that I'm being an oxymoron. Or whatever you call it. I mean, I totally said that preteens do not mix with the opposite gender and then in the first chapter, Sirius was being one heck of a ladies' man on the train. Oops. Big blooper there. Well, sorry about that and just ignore it, will you? 

Thanks reviewers, and yes, Birdie, I do know you're being very sparing with your kind reviews and really, I appreciate it all! Just…don't say anything about the big blooper I've just mentioned. Thanks you all who have actually agreed with my comment that preteens don't mix…I'm sorry if you don't, Satan's Little Princess, but maybe we all grew up in different places with different cultures, different situations and stuff like that. 

Anyway, enough of my useless rambling since most people don't even bother reading A/Ns. 

Disclaimer: The Marauders, Lily, Hogwarts, teachers, and fellow students whom you recognise belong to JK Rowling. 

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            The term passed by without much to talk about. Or at least as far as I could see. I had been receiving letters once or twice a week from Mum and occasionally, Petunia. (Actually very rarely but Petunia being Petunia, it was quite creditable.) Dad was starting to get better apparently. But I know they were just saying because they didn't want me worried. I wish they would just tell me the truth. 

            Petunia _did_ drop me a hint here and there in her scarce letters. (So she had a use in life after all.) In one of her letters, she wrote, "Dad looks better. ('Looks' being the keyword)".

I was worried. I tried researching leukaemia but the library had nothing about the illness. Not even in the thick volume of "Muggles' Troubles" or "Ailments Of All Sorts". I expect I was quite a sight, stomping around in the library with a scowl on my face, slamming shut books that had nothing that could aid my curiosity. Madam Pince, the young, extremely strict librarian, had to tell me off several times, adding that I was not myself and I should try to keep my troubles to myself and if I wanted to let out my feelings, I had better do it somewhere else. 

When at last her fiery temper got the better of her, she politely but firmly kicked me out. I was offended but I guessed I was being a pain in the neck, and so I just wandered off, deciding whether to start on a big Potions assignment or to get started on my Astronomy homework that had been left to collect dust in my bag. 

I couldn't tell my friends about my troubles. Mum had told me very strictly that nobody was to be told. I had yet to find out why. But until that day, when I finally realise why, I shall listen to her grave words and not breathe a word. Yet, my friends did catch wind of ripples in the water because of my odd behaviour (word of students being sent away from the library spread like wildfire in Hogwarts). 

 Finally, when I couldn't stand it anymore, I did tell someone (two people in fact) of my problem. Oddly, even up to the day Dad passed away peacefully and the years beyond, Zoe, who by far was my best friend and for a fair few years after that, didn't even know anything other than Dad was sick. And even so, she heard of it along with the whole Gryffindor class when Professor Flitwick asked if Dad was all right.

Actually, it was Nicky and Ashley upon whom I bestowed the knowledge. They had been getting real close lately, having known each other for so long. One fine sunny day, Ashley happened to chance upon a letter from Mum, which I had carelessly left lying on the dorm floor after I had flung it down and stormed out of the room, furious at Mum for blabbering on and on about how rosy Dad's cheeks were. 

Ashley, being a curious person, picked up the piece of paper and read it. Later that day, she recited most of the letter to Nicky who was more concerned that Ashley had intruded my privacy than she was about Dad. They later asked me what it was all about and I gave in. I made them swear upon their lives that they would not tell anyone. They were sorry. After that, we became pretty much good friends. At least for the next few months.

Other than them, I think no one else knew about it besides most of the professors. I had absolutely no idea how they found out but then again, I didn't know a lot of things at that time…like there was no cure for leukaemia. 

"There is no possible way to cure it," Dumbledore explained to me gravely in his office. "In the future, there might be a way…I think the Muggles call it 'surgery' or 'operation'. But for now, there is nothing they can do. And nothing we can do. Your father is in a very bad condition, we cannot do anything except probably stretch his life for a month or two, and your mother will not allow us to interfere, no doubt wary of what we would do. 

"I just hope you will understand. Your mother wrote to me, asking me to explain this to you. She is in no fit condition to tell you, and she feels that I can probably do a better job than she. I just hope my words help."

My throat was dry. I gripped the edge of the seat tightly. Dumbledore was smiling sadly at me, the twinkle in his eye gone. 

"There is no use in dwelling on what ifs and dreams. I suggest you go home this Easter holiday and spend time with your father."

I nodded, speechless. In a way, I was glad in a bittersweet kind of way that I finally knew what was really going on. But curiously, the pain and misery I thought would follow (like in those soap operas) didn't exactly come. I just felt strangely numb and light-headed. 

Unfortunately, that feeling lasted for a few good weeks. The professors all told me not to dwell on the problem and concentrate on my studies, saying that I really needed to buck up as I was really behind. As the Easter holiday neared, I began to get really nervous. I couldn't wait to see Dad again but somehow, I was afraid of what I would see. In my mind, I pictured a ghostly figure dressed all in white lying unconscious on a hospital bed, face drawn and hands icy cold; hair matted and breathing heavy. 

Well, it was quite close to the truth. Dad wasn't unconscious (yet) and he could still talk in a hoarse throaty voice. 

"Don't worry, Lily. Don't…" he started, but was cut off by a seizure of dry coughs. Mum pushed me aside and Petunia made me sit down on a bench outside the room. She then rushed inside to aid Mum. I felt so useless. Even the cheery-faced nurse who passed by and smiled a toothy smile at me didn't make me feel any better. 

Again, the holiday passed by like the Christmas one. In a blur. I spent more time at Dad's side, reading him fairy-tales I loved (like Sleeping Beauty) and telling him all about Hogwarts. Mum was always nearby, bags under her eyes and face weary. Petunia was there on and off, but most of the time, she just came by to say a few words and then she rushed off again. Mum said she had lots of homework to complete. 

So did I to come to think of it, and I had about a month's work to catch up. Every night, I worked myself until I was close to tears and red-eyed, and then waking up early the next morning to study some more. However, I could very well see that it was pointless as nothing was entering my mind. But somehow in all that rush, I did manage to finish all the assignments, essays, and all sorts. 

I returned to Hogwarts, overworked and jumpy. I spoke barely ten words to my friends a day. In fact, Professor McGonagall was so worried about me that she kept sending me to Madam Pomfrey. I always went without question, drank a glass of hot liquid and then went right back out of the Hospital Wing again. 

When at last, after a few talks with Professor Dumbledore, I finally began to realise what a wreck I had let myself become. I had always thought Petunia was being very insensitive the way she didn't seem to care much but actually, she was being very sensible. 

"No use dwelling on what ifs and dreams" was what Dumbledore had said. Even Mum was going back to her usual schedule, keeping Dad company only for a few hours while all my uncles and aunts accompanied him most of the rest of the time, taking turns. 

I began to return to my normal self, thanks to Dumbledore and the other professors. It would be a lie to say that my friends helped. They were about as distant as Dad and me, mile-wise. I didn't let it linger in my mind. It was actually quite normal for me (I was well-known for switching friends every year back at primary school) and I didn't mind. I found it quite a delight being alone, far from the madding crowd.  

I slowly caught up with my work and was constantly used as a tool by professors to inspire other students to study. It was embarrassing really. To my absolute delight, Snape started calling me 'Teacher's pet'. Well, really, how childish (!). 

As I had expected, I was excelling in Charms, skimming through each lesson easily. Defence Against the Dark Arts, I suppose, was a very interesting subject and Professor Swordsman was a very good teacher, and I found it quite easy as well. 

I was nowhere near good in Transfiguration though. Sure, I could perform Switching Spells and small transfigurations but when it came to larger objects, I couldn't do it perfectly. 

"It's all in the concentration!" Professor McGonagall would say, rapping her desk curtly, but let's face it; we'll just leave the top spots for James Potter and Sirius Black. Amazingly, they were just about fantastic in every subject, and they probably only studied the night before a test. 

            I was just so-so in Herbology. I could score averagely in my tests but I would say that most of it was luck. 

            "But you can't get lucky _every time_!" Zoe would wail, dissatisfied.

            I had come up with a new formula for Potions. Potions = terror. How true, how true. I would probably say that Professor Cauldron was very biased in class but when it came to tests, I didn't fail a single one, so I guess, it's not so bad. But it wasn't the same for my poor peers though. 

            History of Magic is a bore. That's all I'm saying.

            Astronomy was very confusing at times but I'd say I sort of pulled through. I'm not an avid fan of the stars. 

            You might say that I'm not being very modest. But it's true. I was just lucky that I wasn't exactly top of the class. (Why bother contending with geniuses like James and Sirius?) Who knows what Zoe might say if I were? 

A/N: Thank you all for reading, and just saying, but if you happen to know me personally, and you sort of think that you are mentioned in the story somewhere as one of the students of Hogwarts…um…*looks around furtively and backs away*…it's…um… not true. Yeah! It's um…not true…um… at all. Where on earth did you get such an idea? And no…Lily's character is _not_ like mine…even if there are small teeny similarities. Remember, you are not in the story. Not in the story…*attempts to hypnotise people but fails*…

Dang. 


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